Christmas Memories
by Duochanfan
Summary: John and Sherlock are spending their first Christmas as a couple together, but memories good and bad and brought up, but can the day still end up on a happy note?


**I don't own BBC Sherlock, they are the creative works of Steven Moffat, Mark Gatiss and of course the wonderful Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.**

**This is set after Season One, and ignores Season Two.**

**A little late for Christmas I know, but better late than never I think. I do hope you all have had a wonderful Christmas and a Very Happy New Year to you all!**

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**Christmas Memories**

John woke up slowly, his arm reaching out and frowning when all his hand encountered was nothing but cold sheets. Blue eyes opened and looked around the bedroom, Sherlock was already up, but that no longer surprised him. He gave a small sigh and flung the blankets off him, cursing a little as the cold air hit his naked form. He quickly gathered some sweats and an old t-shirt and looked around for his dressing gown, rolling his eyes when he didn't see it. He grabbed Sherlock's that was still hanging on the back of the door. Sherlock must have grabbed his again, which was becoming a habit of his boyfriends.

John walked out of their bedroom, a smile on his face as he thought about the last seven months. He still couldn't believe that he was actually together with Sherlock, he had denied he had interest in the other as soon as he was shot down during that first dinner at Angelo's. Later on he forced down the feelings that were beginning to creep in for the younger man over almost two years ago. This had changed a little over five months ago, when John had been shot on a case. It hadn't been anything too serious, enough for John to have to take some time to recover for a week or two back at Baker Street.

Sherlock had quickly taken it into his head that it had been his fault. Took John a while to dissuade him from that notion. Over the week and a bit, he and Sherlock had both lowered the barriers between them, and the feelings that John had, had rushed to the surface. It was their first case after his recovery, when they were standing in an alleyway near home after a frantic chase across the back streets of London, the two were smiling, laughing from the adrenalin, subconsciously they moved, and soon the two of them were kissing. With a few words they told each other that there was something there, something more than friendship. It didn't take long for them to decide that they would try a relationship, though they said they would go slow.

It had only been a month now, since they had started sleeping together, and John knew that neither he nor Sherlock would like sleeping alone, things were going well. Mycroft had been the first to find out, thanks to him always monitoring the CCTV footage around Baker Street. He had given the two a lecture on sentiment, but the very next day had kidnapped John and told him that if he were to ever hurt Sherlock, no one would be able to find him. Mrs Hudson had found out, and she could still be seen to smile at them, and with a rather goofy smile on her face at that, especially when she caught the two of them together. Greg Lestrade has smiled happily and told them that it was about damn time, but couldn't they have come out a week before, he had a bet on with the pool at the Yard on when the two of them would announce that they were together, one of the desk Sargent's had won in the end. Others had done nothing but belittle them, but the two ignored that, especially if Donovan and Anderson said anything when Lestrade was there. It was nice to see the he was taking them to task about their unprofessional behaviour.

John stopped as he stood looking into the living room, he couldn't help but smile as he saw Sherlock. The younger man was laying on the sofa, once again in his thinking pose, though the gown he had on wasn't the silk one, which John was currently wearing, but the fluffy black one that the ex army doctor had gotten as a present from Sherlock on his birthday. Grey eyes opened as the consulting detective finally heard movement, as John took another step into the room.

"Merry Christmas Sherlock," John said softly as he walked over to the sofa and began to lean down.

Sherlock rose a little and the two kissed gently, "Merry Christmas John." He greeted back as they looked to each other and smiled.

"You still seem a little melancholy," John said, remembering the man playing his violin almost constantly for hours, the music sad and wishful, until he had been convinced by the doctor to come to bed. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he asked as Sherlock swung his legs over the side and sat up on the sofa.

Sherlock looked to him, a soft smile on his face, though it barley reached his eyes, as he said gently, "Sit down."

John sat down and looked a little concerned as Sherlock swung around again and lay down, with his head in John's lap, "So," John said softly as he ran a hand through the dark locks, "Are you going to tell me?" he prompted once more, hoping that he wasn't pushing too hard, he knew that if he did, Sherlock would clam up and say nothing, or just get up and leave him alone for a while.

"Christmas, it always brings back memories that I would much rather forget, but for some reason, I find I can not delete them," he began as he the memories made themselves known once again, "My family would often host parties, and gathering for the rest of the family, there are a large number of us. Mummy and Father did love to show Mycroft and I off to the family, as thought we were the perfect children." He snorted softly.

"Not something you would enjoy, the parties and gatherings." John said softly, knowing that Sherlock hated those types of things.

"No it wasn't, still isn't." He nodded in agreement, "I never really fit in, while Mycroft is smart, as I am, he learned to curb his tongue. I never did, no one wanted to be around me long enough to help me learn. Mummy wanting to show off her perfect son, father showing Mycroft to family and friends, his protégé. Me, I was left aside, left alone to be the brunt of jokes, and teasing about being unwanted. It felt like it most of the time as well, I was always alone, Mycroft is fourteen years older than me, he never was on to play, but by the time I could, he was an adult, working and making his way up the ladder in the government." He told him, as he paused for a moment, "I was left alone, I was different, could see things that were going on, and sometimes I couldn't help but to say something." He looked up to john, his grey eyes sad, showing his boyfriend the pain that he still felt, "That wasn't the worst, it was after that hurt the most. Mummy and Father would be disappointed in me, saying why I couldn't be more like Mycroft, it was from that I began to resent him, always being told your brother is better and never being able to measure up. Most Christmas' I would be in my room all day, because I hadn't behaved how they wanted me to during the gatherings." A slightly bitter tone in his voice as he finished speaking.

"Oh Sherlock," he whispered sadly as he thought about the young boy Sherlock had been, and to always be alone for being himself, it hurt john to even think about it. He lent forwards and placed a gentle kiss on Sherlock's lips.

Sherlock looked up to him as John pulled back, It's all right John," he reassured, "to me Christmas was another day that I disappointed my parents. There is a reason why I didn't hate Mycroft, he would sometimes come to me and give me something to think on, work on, a puzzle." He gave a small smile, "Though now, now I have you and Mrs Hudson, and last year Christmas was good. Showed me that it could be a lot better." He told him.

"Maybe Sherlock, but Christmas is supposed to be about family, getting together and showing each other that you are thinking of them. Even though Harry and I rarely talk, I still send her something and I will call her later to see how she is doing. Even when I was in Afghanistan I made sure to try and get time to call my family and talk to them." John told him and then began to think back to his own childhood Christmas', a small smile beginning to form on his face as he remember the fun, laughter and jokes.

Sherlock saw the smile forming on his boyfriends face, and he couldn't help his curiosity as he asked, "What are you remembering?"

John broke out of his memories as Sherlock spoke and thought for a moment as he then answered, "Christmas, when I was nine. One of my favourites." He let the happy memories fill his mind as he began to ran his fingers through Sherlock's hair once again.

Sherlock smiled as he prompted, "Tell me about it." He snuggled down a little more and got comfy, there was one thing he loved about John, he was a good storyteller.

John nodded, "Nana Rose, my mum's mum, would come and stay with us on the 23rd and would stay through till the 2nd of January. Out home was small, so she would insist on sleeping on the sofa in the living room, it was comfy. Every day that she was there, I would make sure to get up extra early, she would always be awake, and I would climb under the blankets with her and she would tell me stories of when she was a little girl, how she would often get in trouble with her father for getting home late, or hanging out with boys. And what it was like during the blitz of World War II. I would ask so many questions and she would be patient with me and answer them all as best as she could." He smiled as he remembered his grandmother, "We would be sent to bed early on Christmas Eve, though Harry and I could never get to sleep quickly, I would read my books until I feel asleep with it in my hands," he chuckled as he looked down to Sherlock.

"What about Christmas day?" he then asked him, smiling back, he couldn't help but wonder what the man was like as a child, was he the type to go tearing into his presents as soon as he got up.

"Harry and I would get up early and we would yell to mum and dad to get up as well. When I was younger I would bounce on their bed and my dad would carry me down stairs by the ankles. Blood rush to the head with me laughing and screaming as he carried me into the living room and dumping me on the sofa. Nana Rose would already have tea ready for us, along with breakfast. We would be up by six in the morning, I know my parents didn't go to bed until late, doing last minute Christmas wrapping. But Harry and I didn't care, and they would always be smiling, even through the yawns," he laughed, "When breakfast was over we would washed up and would have one present to open. It would be the clothes that we would wear that day, something smart and nice, Harry would always get a dress, she hated them. I would be in a little suit, or some smart trousers and a nice warm and soft hand knit Jumper, but that year, I had a suit, a nice grey one, Harry had a pink dress and she hated it with a passion, it was totally ruined by the middle of January, her dresses never lasted long." He smiled as he thought of the number of dresses that Harry ruined over the years, "We would watch a film after getting ready for the day, normally the Snowman. Mum and Nana would start in the Kitchen. They turkey was always cooked over night. Dad would play old games with us, mum reminding him not to get the two of us messy or dirty." He sighed a little missing the carefree days of his childhood.

Sherlock frowned a little and wondered, "What about presents, when did you open them. I thought people would let their kids open them as soon as they were up?" he asked, he knew that while his family had never been close to him, they still opened present before breakfast was even eaten.

"We would, in the after noon, before dinner. We had to wait for my other Grandparents to get there. They would have visited my Uncle to watched my cousins open theirs and then come to ours for dinner. We would open our presents, Nana Rose, Nana Lizzy and mum would be with Harry, dad and Grandpa would be with me. After that we would play a while until dinner was ready and we would be at the table to eat together, pulling crackers and telling the lame jokes to each other. Grandpa Charlie would always read us a story before he and Nana Lizzy left to go back to my Uncles for the evening. The rest of the day would be playing new games, dad always joining in, a film or two and Nana Rose telling stories until we went to bed, which would be a lot later than normal," he finished, a warm smile on his face.

"Sound like a wonderful way to spend Christmas." The consulting detective smiled to him.

John nodded, "It was." His voice going a little sad, "My Grandpa died two years later, and Nana Lizzy wasn't the same after that, passing way a little later. Nana Rose passed away not long after I became a doctor. The holidays were never the same and with my parents passing away when I was in Afghanistan, Harry and I just about talk. Christmas like back then won't happen again, but we could always make our own tradition." He suggested, as he looked down to his boyfriend, the sorrow of those passing slowly leaving his face.

Sherlock nodded, "Let's" he then jumped up and called out to John, "I'll make tea!"

John shook his head as he went over to the tree and pulled the presents that had gathered underneath it, onto the coffee table. Sherlock soon walked back into the room and placed two mugs of hot tea on the table and turned on the CD player, he smiled as the two of them settled back on the sofa. Sherlock pulling the smaller man against him as they drank their drinks as the sounds of Sherlock's violin began to play in the room, he had recorded himself playing when John had asked, saying he enjoyed listening to the music he played.

"Okay," John said as he grinned to Sherlock and said, "Present time," he then grabbed one from Greg to Sherlock and handed it over.

Sherlock took it and opened it, rolling his eyes a little, it was a new scarf, since his last one was ruined on a case almost a week ago, "I see Lestrade left his present shopping till the last minute again." He smiled as he looked to John as he brought out his own present from Lestrade.

John opened his own and smiled, "One that I haven't read yet," it was another Clancy novel, one that John hadn't read yet. He had started reading them a few months ago when he ended up overnight in hospital, Lestrade had brought him in a copy of one of his own books for something to read, and ended up hooked on them.

"Okay, what about Mrs Hudson?" Sherlock asked, grimacing as he remembered the hideous Christmas jumpers that she had brought for them last year.

John brought the large and squishy present out of the pile and felt a small pit of dread form, he hoped there weren't two Christmas Jumpers inside, "It's for both of us," he said as he read both his and Sherlock's names were on the tag.

"Open it, and if it's some hideous jumper I'm using them in an experiment," Sherlock told him, his voice and face telling the older man that he was serious in his threat.

"Oh," John said as he pulled out the deep green hand made Afghan blanket.

"Now that is much better than Jumpers," Sherlock grinned as he ran a hand over the soft wool and then took hold of it, flicked it out and covered the both of them with it.

"That it is," he smiled back as he ran his own hand over the soft wool and snuggled closer to Sherlock underneath it. "Mycroft's gift is also a joint one to both of us." He then said as he leaned forwards and picked up the next once, saving each others for last.

"Wonder what it is this year, normally he sends out a hamper and a few puzzles for me, has done since I was a child." Sherlock snorted thinking of the hampers and the puzzles his brother had sent him over the years.

John passed it to Sherlock and said, "well I don't think this is a hamper, and you can open it."

He looked to his boyfriend and sighed, "Fine," he took the present and ripped the paper off, he couldn't help the soft smile that formed on his face.

It was a silver frame, with engravings of leaves around the edges, but it was the picture inside that made Sherlock smile. It was of him and John, standing in the alleyway near Baker Street, sharing their first kiss. John looked over and smiled as well, and shared a gentle kiss. A small note was stuck at the bottom that read.

"Sentiment at its best."

"Maybe your brother does have his uses," John chuckled a little as he moved the blanket off and stood up, taking the picture from Sherlock and placing it on the fireplace, taking the note and sticking it to the back to the frame.

"Never took my brother for showing sentiment either, but yes, he does have his uses," he agreed as John sat back down and Sherlock settled the blanket back around the two of them, warding off the slight chill in the flat.

"Right," John grinned, "our gifts now," he said as he picked up the large of his two gifts to Sherlock and handed it over, "Merry Christmas," he smiled softly.

Sherlock took the brightly wrapped present and frowned when he felt the weight. He ripped off the paper and then grinned, "Thank you," he chuckled a little as he remembered the make out session in the kitchen that had ended up with his microscope broken on the floor almost a month ago. He had been meaning to replace it, but kept forgetting as other things took over his mind.

"Glad you like it, it's a lot more powerful that your last one," John smiled, as he then picked up the smaller parcel and handed that one over saying "here, one last one from me."

Sherlock put side the microscope, promising he would have a mess around with it later on and took the other resent and opened it. Inside was a band bracket, inscribed in the platinum metal were the words, and 'Could be Dangerous'. He shook his head as he thought back to the words that had gotten John to meet him once more, and made it the start of their friendship together, he then handed it over to John, giving him a warm kiss and said, "thank you, can you put it on." John nodded and took it, placing it around Sherlock's thin wrist and doing up the clasp, "Right," Sherlock then grinned, "Your turn," he then grabbed one of the two remaining present and handed it over to John.

"Thanks," he said as he began to rip it open. He smiled when he saw that it was a new black coat, much like his old one. He had been meaning to get a new one as his other was beginning to get a little ratty, thought John was reluctant to part with it. "Thank you," he smiled to his boyfriend, sharing another quick kiss.

"You're welcome," he smiled back as he then began to get a little nervous as he picked up the last present he had for John and handed it over.

John looked from the present to Sherlock and wondered what it was and why it would make his boyfriend so nervous. It was the same type of rectangle box that had the bracelet john had given to Sherlock in. He ripped the bright paper off and opened the box and looked inside. Blue eyes went wide as he gasped a little at what he saw, "Sherlock…" he whispered in shot and surprise.

"Will you Marry Me John?" he asked, wondering if he had made a mistake, "I know we haven't been together for long, but I do know that I never want to let you go and that life would not be worth much if you weren't by my side." He told him softly, "I love you." He ended simply, giving voice to the feelings that had grown in him since the first day he had met the ex Army Doctor in the lab of St Bart's.

"I love you to, and my answer is yes," John smiled brightly as the two leaned together and kissed passionately, leaving them breathing hard when they broke apart. Sherlock reached to the box and picked out the engagement ring that he had brought for John, it was a simple band with small stones set in it, He placed it on John's finger and then John did the same.

The two looked at the rings and smiled to one another, "Glad you said yes," Sherlock smiled happily, wondering who out of their friends would be the first to notice.

"I wonder how long it will take you…" John then began as Sherlock's phone began to beep as he received a message.

Sherlock picked it up and snorted, "Mycroft, sending us congratulations on our engagement."

John laughed as he said, "Not long then,"

He smiled to Sherlock as music drifted around them, giving them a peaceful feeling as they snuggled together under the wonderfully warm blanket that Mrs Hudson had made for them. They didn't have anything to do for a while, since John had already prepared most of Christmas dinner the day before. The two settled against each other, just enjoying the feeling of Christmas morning.

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**I do hope you have all had a wonderful Christmas, and a very Happy New Year!**

**How John's childhood Christmas went, is how mine where when I was a kid. My Grandmother and Grandfather passed away when I was still young, but one Grandmother is still around and kicking, and nagging for great grandkids.**

**Please review and tell me what you think!**


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